Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!

I know it has been almost a month since my last post. So much has happened....all good for a change. My husband is a Shriner...if you know about Shriners Children's Hospitals they are a non profit organization who treat children for free for many injuries to include burns and various orthopedic needs. Well sometimes his duties require a lot of fundraising and January was the busiest month. It has finally slowed down and I can catch my breath but between work and Shriner Activites we did not have a weekend free since 2011 began!!!!

So this week we had our 19 week appt with OB and we heard the heartbeat again (fast and furious)and found the results of the NTS scan. Our doctor had done the integrated blood screening as well and that was the last piece. He said that we had a 1-4,000 chance of a downs or spina bifida defect which was good since for my age group the odds are in the general population 1-98. I was very relieved and the doctor said if Monday's genetic ultrasound came out without any abnormalities we would not need any further testing. Needless to say that I held my breath and prayed all weekend.

Therefore, this Valentine's Day morning we made it to the hospital for our 8:15 appointment only to be delayed until 9:15. My nerves were shot and my poor husband did not know how to comfort me. The technician was a wonderful woman who had been doing ultrasounds for over 25 years...I felt better as she started the exam but I was still worried. If you have never had one done they take TONS of photos of all parts of the baby. They measure the skull, the brain, the eyes, the chambers off the heart, the size of the kidneys, the rhythmn of the heart, the length of the arms, legs, and make sure there are two hands and feet. Although it was exciting to see the baby since we had not seen it in over 2 months, it was also nerve racking because the technician says nothing about the results as she is doing the scan. My husband tried to ask her but she said "I am just the investigator the doctor will come in after and give you the results." I cannot tell you how nervous I was. At one point I stopped looking at the screen because I just knew something was wrong. I was silently saying my prayers and my husband nudged me and told me to open my eyes and watch the process.

After all the preliminary photos, the tech said ok let me make sure I have all of the information and then she looked at her screen and the photos and charts. I kept saying that if she says we are ok then I can relax. Instead she said, "ok I need some more measurements of the spine" and my heart sank. I had not eaten anything all morning and I felt like throwing up. She took some more photos, and then announced we were done and the doctor would review the scans and come talk to us in a few minutes. I could not wait to get up off the table. My husband kindly wiped up all the gel and helped me get dressed and just smiled and said it's ok just breathe.

I think I always waited for this day. Knowing that is this scan was good, I would take one more positive step towards July. He finally realizes when he is with me at the doctor's office how much stress these appointments cause me. He feels the pain and fear and is at a loss sometimes how to comfort me.

In the end, the doctor and the tech came in and he introduced himself and I officially held my breath and my husband's hand. He said I reviewed all the scans and I wanted you both to know I see no abnormalities and all looks normal to date. I started to cry...I laughed, I smiled and I cried and shook the doctor and the tech's hand so hard I think I broke something.

I almost forgot the best part, prior to the appointment, my husband had given me a Valentine's Day card and I looked at him and said "you know I did not get you a card this year" ( the first time in our 10 yr dating history)...and he said in a way only he could say "well you have been busy, giving me our daughter!!" Yes it is official we are having a little girl!!!!

I know this is not the end of the road. I know there is a long way to go and I am still scared but I am happy today and thankful to God and all my friends, family and my husband who have prayed for us. Today is a a celebration of love, and this year it is the love of our new little girl which we celebrate. I left to go to work and my husband has been painting in the future nursery all day. To say he is excited is a small thing. We have been through so much saddness and disappointment, but if only for today, we smile and we believe that if you trust in God's Divine Providence...you get day's like today, which for this Valentine's Day 2011 is good enough for me. I am praying for us all and I believe in us all to have the strength and faith to make this journey with our spouses and with each other to the end.
Happy Valentine's Day 2011!!!